In this week's edition of the Smasafest Diaries, one of our most beloved TeamSFQ members, Robin Pelton, shares her remarkable story of enduring loss and gaining strength this past year through her connection to endurance sports and its unique and supportive community.
What first drew you to endurance sports?
Greg, of course. He came home one day from work and said he was going to do a sprint triathlon with the guys from work. He didn't even have a bike, he found an old bike in the trash, it must have weighed like 50 lbs, and he did the sprint. I had so much fun watching the race and the people were just so friendly and helpful. So unlike the road races we had been doing, then he decided to do an Ironman.
I was running at the time, but never thought of myself as a runner, I was like "I can do a Tri, I grew up swimming, like that's all there is to it." What a steep learning curve. So we bought a book, and bikes, and swam at the pool, and the rest as they say is history.
When did you decide to start coaching? And how has helping your athletes achieve their goals helped you achieve yours?
I sort of fell into coaching. This couple would come into the running store I work at and just ask millions of questions, then one day they came in and asked me to coach them, I'm like no, no, no I'm not a coach, I have my own coach, ask her. Then they said, but you do all these races, at the time I had done about 15x 70.3's, my first IM, run the Boston marathon, they said with your background you would be great, just give us some tips. Then after a couple weeks of "giving tips," I finally said, "Fine, I'll coach you." Then they said, we have a couple friends that need coaching, within a month I had 6 athletes.
My passion is working with beginners, people who have been told their entire lives they "can't" do something, watching them at their first race, finishing something they never thought they could do, just makes my heart happy and makes me want to show them that anything is possible! Challenge yourselves, think outside the box. They mostly think I'm crazy, but I see them thinking, if she can do it, why can't I?
Both you and your husband, Greg, were a staple in various endurance events, (ultra marathons, triathlons) as both participants, support, and volunteers for years, what is it about the endurance community that inspires you to devote so much valuable time and energy?
The people, hands down! So many people helped us when we started out, and we always wanted to be able to give back and to be there for the other first timers, people who don't have groups of friends to train with or tri clubs to help them. We had gradually moved away from Ironman and more toward Ultraman, Xterra, and the ultra running community, the smaller venues are way more laid back and more personal. We both loved Ultraman races and being part of a small Ohana. Plus, we had done IM races over and over, and I think a lot of it was the challenge of the distances themselves.
Since your incredible husband, Greg, (an outstanding endurance athlete in his own right) passed away suddenly last Summer, how did you find the strength to not only continue running, but be running faster than ever before by consistently knocking off personal records nearly every occasion you toe the line? In essence, what has been driving you to push yourself beyond previous limits on the race course?
When Greg first passed, it was all I could do to get through each day. There were just so many things to take care of, but being a 30 year Navy wife helped a lot. Hillary, (my coach), asked me if I wanted time off, but having a training schedule gave me something to focus on, it gave me a purpose when most everything else was chaos. I drew strength from the workouts, pushing myself. It's when Hillary coined the phrase "Powered by Greg" or PBG. My diet changed, I went back to a more plant based diet and found I was running farther, faster and recovering better than I had before. Greg was my strength, so now I race for him, challenging myself to do better each time, in his honor. I would like to think a bit of his speed passed on to me, and I know he's out there with me at every race, pushing me, telling me, " You can keep this pace, you can keep going." I just hope to make him proud at each race.
Have you ever felt encouraged and comforted by Greg's spirit during training runs and/or races?
On every single run! I feel the closest to Greg when I am out running. Running was his thing, and he's the one that first encouraged me to take up ultra running. Now I do it for him. I'm pretty sure it makes him happy, I see signs of him everywhere, and it makes me smile.
The race in Utah last year was a race Greg and I were supposed to do together, it took everything I had to go and do the race, but I knew He would want me to go. I was fortunate that several friends were doing the race as well, so I wouldn't be going alone. It was an incredible 3 days, so spiritual and so healing. Racing over the 3 days was a lot like Ultraman, you see the same people every day and share the same course. Plus, there was an added bonus of meeting up with 2 Ultraman ohana. On the 3rd day they did a tribute to Greg at the finish. That was completely unexpected, and WOW tough to hear, there were a lot of hugs and tears at that finish. I am so excited to go back this year with Smash teammates.
The resilience and grace you have shown since experiencing such a tragic loss has inspired your local community, and countless members of the endurance community at large, do you have any thoughts you'd like to share for someone else who is navigating through grief?
This is such a tough question because people deal with grief so differently. Accept help, that was one of the hardest things for me. I'm an only child, and like I said a 30 year Navy wife used to doing things on her own. There aren't really any words someone can say that help. So letting them help you also helps them as well, because they are dealing with their own grief. Don't let anyone tell you how to navigate your grief, or when to "move on." Sadly, I have lost friends over this. There is no "getting over" this, move forward at your own pace, and do things in your own time, and DO NOT feel guilty about it. If you know someone dealing with grief, sending messages, cards, offers of help, really do make a huge difference, because you really do feel like you are alone in the world. Don't be afraid to reach out to them, even months later. It means so much. I am also truly blessed to be surrounded by such amazing teammates. Hillary called or texted me every day, as did Michele, and Jessica Deree always seemed to know when I needed a quick message. Amy Hite sent me cat pics or called me every day. Julia Mairs Weisbecker and Shannon Gallivan Bol, the 3 of us share a special bond, and their messages helped me so much. My local friends here as well, there are no words to say how much they helped me, some were here every day, just checking in.
Fortunately, you have been able to compete in numerous running races near your home in Washington state and Utah during our current COVID times, but as the world continues to open up, do you have any races or other adventures in your sights for the rest of 2021, or 2022? Yes, I have been super lucky to be able to race as often as I have, because trail racing is the original socially distant sport, really. I have a sprint triathlon coming up in a couple weeks, then the new Salem 70.3, Alcatraz, Maple Valley, 70.3 then Oceanside. I'll probably throw in some more trail races if I can, too. I'm thinking of doing the Saguaro half in Tucson on February, 19th, and maybe something special in April. Also, I'm looking at a 70.3 in Maine in Sept. of 2022, because I have family nearby, so that would be fun. Plus, all the trail races up here. I do need a new "special challenge," last year it was running 100k on my birthday... Gotta figure something out. :)
Pam Neckar is a long time member of Team SFQ who resides in Northern Ohio with her husband, two sons, and is an executive in multiple design businesses. Pam's story of melding motherhood, friendship, triathlon, and business is inspiring under any "normal" circumstances, but how she tapped into each of those passions to pivot and thrive in the very challenging COVID-tinged 2020 is truly remarkable. I have wanted to learn more about Pam since we raced together at Ironman, Wisconsin in 2019, and I am thrilled she was willing to share so much with all of us here.
When first drew you to triathlon?
When my second son was born in 2005, I was determined to never have “mom arms” so I started to run. I was a solo runner. I did not find the running community open. Eventually, I became bored and started looking for more. I was looking to be a part of a community of like minded, driven individuals. I came to triathlon about 7 years ago. I had not swum since high school, so I found a gym that focused on multisport athletes. After building a foundation, I completed my first 70.3 in 2014. Triathlon has brought friends into my life which help to make it full.
What is one of your most meaningful memories from training, and/or a race?
The journey to ironman was life changing. When I made the decision to participate in Ironman Wisconsin 2019, I kept the decision quiet as I was not sure if I believed in myself. My support team was large, my family was totally on board, my business partners warmed up to the idea and my colleagues were convinced I lost my mind. Wisconsin was the Cleveland Tri Club race that year so there were many group trainings. The best memories were the hardest rides, together with Dana, Jen and of course Scott we rode all over Ohio relying on gas stations for Snickers and potato chips. Racing Triple T was no joke, I did a hybrid of the long and short course, plus I ran the last 6 miles of Dana’s half marathon with her. That weekend I was forever grateful for the man who helped me change a flat or I’d still be on the side of the road trying to figure it out. The best weekend was Velosano, a fundraiser for Cancer put on by Cleveland Clinic, 2 days and 188 miles during the hottest weekend of the summer. We left Dana’s husband, Scott, in a cornfield and he has not held it against us.
Ironman was so emotional, but I was ready, and my crew was ready. Fellow smash sister Priscilla Thayer was there to support us. On the run and shuffling through the campus in the dark and in the rain, chatting with the man next to me, I shared that my why was to show my boys you can do anything, reach for the stars. Crossing that line and seeing my boys, drenched and cold, I cried. They were there all day long, all over the course, my biggest fans. My phone blew up that day, the office was watching me cross the line and sending well wishes. I felt so much love!
As a mother of two athletic sons, your oldest about to venture off to college next year, how has it felt modeling the importance of a healthy lifestyle to them by pursuing your own goals as an athlete?
When you are that mom who rides your bike across the city to not miss a workout or a cross-country race, you are weird and embarrassing. I get up before the sun, they see me work hard at all things: my exercise, my career and keeping our lives together and memorable. I never really knew what impact I was having on them until my son wrote his college entrance exam essay about how my Ironman journey inspired his dedication to running and his life goals. As captain of his cross-country team, he gave a speech at the awards banquet, he told everyone about the support I gave him and how I inspired him. He noted how I never missed an event, until that day when I decided to run the only race of 2020 and I missed the banquet! The youngest is ALL about football! The Smash winter riding jacket is perfect for football games as it blocks the wind and most important makes me visible from the field. Our motto is work hard to play hard.
Since you are an owner of a commercial architecture firm, and co-founder of a non-profit industry professional organization, how has the past year managing your employees, and your client's expectations due to health concerns from COVID affected how you approach creating spaces to inspire growth and collaboration?
Wow! What a great question. Many women executives have written about how they are ‘Laboring’ this pandemic, I can totally relate. We are in the business of designing healthcare and higher education spaces. 35% of our revenue dropped on a dime when our healthcare clients put projects on hold to address the pandemic. As CFO and in charge of business and employee strategy, everyone was looking to me for answers. When one of our employees contracted Covid, he called to tell me before he told his mother! My response to the pandemic was one of learning, absorbing information from trusted sources and using my network, anything to build my confidence in the decisions I was making. I was so scared, the decisions I make impact 40 people in 4 locations. Plus, we were one big family all at home together all the time. I needed to make sure that my reaction to the pandemic did not put my kids into a tailspin as they will remember every day of the pandemic. We stabilized the financial end of the business and are optimistic for 2021. Industry wide engagement in my non-profit grew over the past year, it was providing people an outlet to learn from each other, it is important to have a strong network. This year has taught me how important who you are being influences your outcomes. You must be present to make a positive impact on your professional and personal trajectory. We are stronger together.
Do you believe that your experience as a triathlete, where transitions play a vital role in the sport, have helped you embrace creative and patient ways to navigate the business transitions that COVID continually presents for you to solve?
Absolutely, triathlon transition is the pivot point. We will look back on pandemic as a critical pivot point for the design industry. The design industry is unique because on one hand we design cutting edge spaces for future use. On the other hand, the process of design is rooted in history and is slow to embrace innovation. Many are trying to commoditize design and if we do not innovate the design process we will be out of business. The design community is finally embracing technology and utilizing talent from any location. The same designers who insisted in the past the only way to design was physically together now are so ready to embrace workplace flexibility as a permanent part of the culture. Our staff has been patient and supportive of leadership’s effort to protect their jobs and their health.
How has building up strength this last year made you recognize and appreciate your body's resilience
Over the years, I have been blessed to stay injury free. Post ironman I made several mistakes: stopping strength training, not swimming for a year, thinking I could still eat whatever I want, firing my coach when the pandemic hit, thinking I could run 2020 miles in 2020 and stay healthy by just running slow, and sitting for hours at a time without getting up. I spent ¾ of 2020 going rogue with my training and not moving forward. In late fall, I began to reincorporate strength training and swimming again, finding my way back to happiness. You cannot skimp on strength training! I am looking forward to racing again in 2021.
There is a mighty contingency of TeamSFQ members located near your home in northern Ohio, how have the friendships with those terrific teammates affected your confidence to set and pursue goals in triathlon and beyond?
Training with the #clesmashqueens Dana Blasey and Priscilla Thayer has been the best. Dana is a beast on the bike. We have the best time riding all over Ohio, competing on downhill speed. Priscilla runs like a deer downhill. Triathlon has brought me lifelong friends. It is so inspiring to be part of a community of smart athletic people. We are constantly pushing each other to higher limits while sharing epic adventures. We are ready to get back to girls weekends away to race, our first adventure together was Escape from Alcatraz, but that was the only year the swim was canceled.
Although 2021 is still in flux, do you have any triathlon and/or other adventures you want to pursue this year?
2021 will be action packed. I am pursuing a graduate certificate in Urban Development and Real Estate Finance. It is a total of four classes, two in the spring and two in the fall. My oldest will be going off to college in August and my youngest will be playing high school football. Racing will work around their events. We plan to spend every possible minute at our lake house this summer. I love being able to do all three sports right from my home. We plan to race Triple T short course in late May, I might have to cut day 2 short to see my son off to prom. Every Senior year activity has been canceled; figures crossed prom is a go! We will ride in Velosano, a 2-day, 188-mile ride to support cancer research at Cleveland Clinic, cancer sucks and we must find a cure! I’d like to race a strong Olympic distance at local races and a half marathon in the fall. We were scheduled to do the Swim to Alligator Island in 2020 and on the fence for 2021, I won’t want to miss football.
Once races do return full swing, are there any events you have your sights on to race in the future?
I have my sights set on Ironman Coeur D'alene 70.3 in 2022, where we plan to make it a friends and family adventure.
Will ever forgive Lebron for leaving the Cavs for the Lakers? (Asks the LA native.:)
No! Lebron brought so much spirit and prosperity to Cleveland. It is hard to watch him in another uniform. Despite moving to LA he is still giving back to his home. The Lebron Family Foundation is making a huge impact on underprivileged children and their families, changing the landscape in Akron. So, if we can’t have him, we will certainly settle for his Foundation.
We look forward to cheering on Pam for all of her multi-hyphenate endeavors in 2021, and hope to connect at another race weekend coffee shop meet up soon.